The Montessori environment is a shared space where ALL toys are shared.
If a child is concentrated on something, it is unavailable to other children. If an object is not in use, it is available to any child.
The adult sets this limit is a kind, but firm way.
We enforce this limit whether our child is the one who has taken the object or the one who’s object has been taken – whether you are at home or on the playground.
Preventing Conflict
example scenario between toddlers, Sam and Francis
“Sam is using the paints right now. Would you like to use stickers instead?”
“Francis, it looks like Sam is working with that right now. It will be available soon.”
“Sam, are you trying to say this is your work, but it will be available soon?”
“Let’s go wash our hands while we wait for this to become available.”
“Sam, may Francis and I watch you work?”
TANTRUMS
If a conflict causes a tantrum in either child, we pause to let the child release their emotions about the situation. We let them know we understand how they feel and comfort them. When they are calm we make amends.
RESPONDING TO CONFLICT
“I can’t allow you to take Sam’s work, but I can show you something else that is interesting. ”
“I see that you are upset, Francis. You really want to play with that. It will be available soon.”
“I understand that you are very interested in this, but Sam hasn’t finished yet. We have to return the ball to Sam for now. It will be available soon.”
“Sam, I understand that Francis took your work, but I can’t let you hurt him.”
“I am going to gently take this and return it to Sam.”
when you don’t know who started it: “I can’t allow you to fight over this. I am going to gently remove it and you can both try again later.”
Sharing Between Siblings
shared objects
Between siblings we can follow the same guidelines. If it is in use, it is unavailable. If it is available, either sibling may use the object.
It is not necessary to buy multiple of everything.
personal space
It’s nice to have a place in the home which is especially prepared according to each child’s interests, especially for siblings of different ages. They can still venture into either space or use the objects on either shelf when they are available.
At any age, sometimes a sibling might need alone time.
“Jamie, it looks like Francis wants to be alone right now.”
“Francis is working at the moment. Let’s come back when he’s available.”
“Francis, are you trying to say that you want to do this alone?”
Montessori Ikea Hacks – part 1 is by far the most popular post on this blog. Since 2019 both our Montessori classroom and my IKEA hacking skills have come a long way, so I am sharing some before and after photos from those original areas posted AND 4 more corners of our school which were made from IKEA furniture. I really love IKEA, can you tell? 🙂
Toddler Woodworking Station
The woodworking station is a special place of pride for our students. Humans have the natural tendency to use tools to do their work. Because of this, the presentations for these materials are very short because children as young as 12 months can use them intuitively. Older children use this area to make their own, small constructions. 🙂
HOW TO USE:
Each tool has its own pre-prepared block which fits into the table insert. This keeps the block stable, isolates the difficulty of the tool, and supports the sensitive period for order.
The tools are arranged from least to most difficult, bottom to top, right to left. This is useful for a mixed age classroom, or for different-aged siblings using the work station at home.
The presentations are hammering nails, wearing goggles, unscrewing screws, cutting soft balsa wood strips with a saw, sanding, and drilling holes. There is a small broom and dustpan available for sweeping up sawdust.
Older students usually prefer to work here while sitting in the chair, while babies prefer to sit on the floor or work while standing.
We teach safety and respect for the tools by setting limits on how and where they may be used. Safety goggles are available and the tools may be used with or without them. We don’t use gloves in this area because they get in the way of the child’s precision.
HOW TO MAKE (photos linked)
Work blocks, table insert, and balsa-wood sawing dowels are homemade by Chad, woodworker. and Montessori guide. Custom orders can be made to montessorimothermatierlas@gmail.com
Toddler Library
This library is a simple, cozy place, bright with natural light, where children can easily choose their books and read them. They love to sit on the reading bench. The little table and chair is also available because it’s more comfortable to read large books there.
TIPS:
Avoid layering the books so they don’t fall down when the child chooses them.
Limit the number of books on the shelves, keeping the rest on your adult bookshelf or put away.
Rotation: keep the child’s favourite books on the shelf. Switch out books which are not often read or damaged books.
Hang the shelves at the child’s level, very low to the ground, so that they can reach even the top shelf.
If you have vintage books or treasured books that the child can only read together with you, keep these on a higher shelf within the child’s view so they can let you know whenever they want to read it.
Model respect for books by handling them very carefully and not setting them on the floor.
Try to read only one book at a time, putting them back on the shelf after looking at them. This helps to support concentration.
HOW TO MAKE (photos linked)
Plant Care Areas
Having living plants at home teaches children how to care for living things which are smaller than them. They learn about the different needs of plants and the benefits and consequences of how their needs are met. If the plant is watered well and kept in the light, it will flourish. If it is watered too much or too little, it will die.
A plant and watering can is a great gift for a child. They can even pick out their own special plant at the store or grow it up themselves from a seed. The plant table is a special place where the plant lives and where you keep the watering can and towel.
HOW TO USE:
Fill the watering can yourself and invite the child to watch you water the plant.
Slowly pour half the water into the soil, using two hands.
Set the watering can down on the table and invite the child to try. The child will then water the plant or possibly spill on the floor or try to drink the water. This is okay because they are learning!
Use the sponge or towel to wipe up the spill.
Invite the child to re-fill the pitcher of water by themselves. If the child is still not walking yet, fill the pitcher again for them with a very small amount of water from another pitcher which is kept at your height.
HOW TO MAKE (photos linked)
Parent & Child Dressing Area
A child-sized dressing area helps children to be responsible for their personal items and practice self-dressing. This area includes a child shelf, an adult shelf, adult changing chairs, a child changing bench, and both low and high coat hooks.
HOW TO MAKE (photos linked)
UPGRADES IN OUR CLASSROOM
1. Art Area
BEFORE
AFTER
changes:
This easel and clip set up is still the one we use today! The new easel model from IKEA is great in that the height does not need to be modified and the paper roll is easier to use (we have this model at home for our toddler). However, it does not have a tray to hold paint cups. For this reason our trusty IKEA hacked easel is still going strong in our environment and is nearly constantly in use.
We have added another chair and table set to this area.
The chest of drawers is near the shelf and in its place is a Montessori hand washing station, strategically placed for washing painty hands. 🙂
This lamp was replaced for the lovely IKEA FUBBLA lamp. The only drawback with this one is that the button for turning it on and off is very tough and only our 2+ year olds can manage to push it completely.
We added a hook to the wall for the apron, so it would not be in the way if a child chooses not to use it.
Hidden behind the easel we have a small Tesla tape dispenser to easily hang up wet paintings and tape paper sheets to the easel at the bottom.
In Montessori also offer 3 colours of paint at a time now, rather than just two. In Montessori Baby Classes we either offer 1 cup of paint or only the crayons.
We now use a paper roll which is 60cm wide which covers the entire easel surface, giving the children a larger and more obvious surface to paint on.
We changed the old unfinished wooden frames for the plastic FiSKBO frames which are easier to keep clean.
2. Toddler Work Area
BEFORE
AFTER
changes:
These tables had to be replaced after much use and love. We now use the KRITTER tables from IKEA, which have also been shortened to stand at 38cm tall.
The chairs are still the same as we have had since 2018! We have only broken 1 chair out of 15 in all this time!
Our wall art is now displayed in the plastic HOSTVA IKEA window frames. They are a little crooked, because we have to drill new holes after them being pulled down so many times. 🙂
The table and chair set in this area now lives in the middle of the space, with the shelves against the wall. I find this to be more inviting for the children to sit down and work.
3. Self Care Area
BEFORE
AFTER
changes:
We have a different tray which allows me to separate the different materials: trying on sunglasses, wiping nose, and brushing hair.
I have added a sign to the waste basket that reads “dirty tissues”
I have added a backpack, a straw hat, and a helmet to the wall hooks to offer more try-on possibilities.
I have a larger lotion jar now and a this little round tray to hold its place.
4. Quiet Corner
BEFORE
AFTER
changes:
In front of the shelf I have added a faux wool carpet, TOFTLUND from IKEA, to make the area cosier.
The bead tracker is in a different part of the Montessori Baby Class environment. Now we have here a large ficus plant for the students to water.
We have a different armchair from Verbaudet. I sewed the cushion cover from the same animal print textile because I loved it so much.
We have a different ball tracker from Nienhuis now in a different place in the classroom. It its place is the scale and weights from Educo with a mystery box base, custom-made for it by Chad.
The books are rotated every term. Now we keep 6 small books in this area, instead of 4. We didn’t have as many books back then. 🙂
Under the aquarium we rotate the materials in each class depending on the age group. During Montessori Toddler Classes we keep two 3D puzzles.
The art is a print by Monet, available on Wikipedia Commons for free. It is hung in a plastic frame, the RIBBA from IKEA.
5. Newborn Movement Area
BEFORE
AFTER
changes:
The walker wagon has 4 rice bags which are used to weigh it down so it rolls more slowly. I sewed handles on the bags so that toddlers can practice loading and unloading the wagon when they are in the Maximum Effort stage of development.
We have a new pillow in this area, LEN from IKEA. And I sewed a fuzzy pillowcase for it. This is used in Montessori Toddler Class when children pretend that they are sleeping or decide to lay down for a rest. In the Montessori Newborn Class I remove this pillow for freedom of movement.
The visual mobile and materials on the newborn shelf are rotated every term. Currently on the shelf we have basket of balls, basket of brushes, sensory wheel, simple threading work – (bottom), posting sticks, outlet puzzle, transparent lock and key, and wooden blocks – (top).
I have added a cloud carpet to the other side of the shelf for babies to work on.
A small, plastic FiSKBO frame is hung on the wall with Tesa tape. The art is “Girl with a Watering Can” by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, available for free on Wikipedia Commons.
In my blogpost Changes at Home When Your Baby Becomes a Toddler I have shared 3 areas of my daughter’s Montessori home environment, which features the classic functional toddler kitchen IKEA hack.
When our baby turned 15 months old she began showing strong signs of self-affirmation crisis, or in other words, becoming a toddler. It was time to make changes in our home to support her during this new stage of life and change areas to better meet her needs. In this blog post I will share some ages and stages of young toddlers and practical life areas for toddlers at home.
Signs and expressions of self-affirmation:
Walking
Increase in tantrums
Interest in practical activities/household tasks
Resistance getting dressed, changing diaper, brushing teeth, etc.
Interest in water
Desire to help adults
Can follow a 2 step process
Can follow simple instructions
Strong feelings towards and against things
Preference of choosing between two things, even two of the same thing
Definition of self-affirmation crisis:
This is also called the “Opposition Crisis” or mistakingly referred to as the “Terrible Twos”. In a person’s second year of life there is an explosion of language which parallels the self-affirmation crisis. At this moment the child learns his favourite word: “no.” They don’t necessarily say it because they don’t want something, but because they want to be respected as a individual with their own point of view.
Changes in the child:
The child starts to gain more physical control of themselves and their surroundings.
They understand that they are a completely different person from their caregivers and start saying “no!” Children test the limits and seek a deeper understanding.
She starts showing more uncertainty and having conflicting ideas and attitudes. Due to this humanisation, the child is prone to frustration and bursting into tears.
By three years old the ego has been nearly fully formed. By the end of this period the child will use the pronoun “I” instead of “me” or saying his name. This signifies the completion of personal boundaries and the beginning of knowledge of the self in contrast to others.
Ideas for changes in the home
The first area we changed was in the bathroom. As discussed in the Toilet Awareness Workshop we added a simple potty, carpet, and sink to the bathroom when Jennie started walking.
Now we added a small mirror, towel hooks, wall art made by Jennie in her Montessori Baby Class, which we placed in a plastic frame. After making these changes Jennie noticed immediately and started to use this area more frequently for its intended function, rather than just exploring it.
The next space was a self-care area in her bedroom. This is a small table made from a cube chair turned on its front. The mirror is stick-on plastic and non-breakable mirror. The blue container is for hair bows and is from Tiger Copenhagen. The wooden tray is from Ikea and keeps tissues for nose wiping. The wall hooks are secondhand from HM Home and the matching bags were made by hand by a friend. We use them for cream, sunglasses, hair clips and hair ties, and a brush and comb. The first day we set it up Jennie was so excited that she spent an hour exploring all these materials. She now uses this space every day.
Finally we made this little kitchen for Jennie which is still in progress. So far she uses it only for drinking water and taking her snacks, but eventually I plan to set it up for simple cooking activities and dish washing work.
The kitchen is from Ikea, bought secondhand. The cutting board was custom made by Chad. The water dispenser is made of plastic and it’s very easy to use. I attached it with velcro stickers so Jennie can easily push the button. I also found these lovely trays which fit perfectly, also at IKEA. The enamel trash can also comes with a cute lid, but it’s too distracting and hard to open for the time-being. On the side I have attached stick-on hooks for her dustpan, broom, mini mop (from Kaufland, no link), and wash cloths.
Finally I bought a role of adhesive foil on Amazon to add some color to the space. The mat and wall art are both from IKEA. These additions are mainly cosmetic, but making the space beautiful is inviting and attracts the child’s attention. They really appreciate all the little details.
And that is all of Jennie’s new practical life areas at home for the moment now that she’s a big, grown up toddler. 🙂
Final Thoughts
Since making these changes we have noticed a lot less tantrums and frustration. She is also so proud of herself when she knows where to do things and where the materials go. It was so simple and inexpensive to make these small changes for her and has made a big difference in our daily routine.
More ways to help children during the self-affirmation crisis:
Activities like riding, pushing, jumping encourage their physical development. They provide opportunities for positive output of energy.
Offering 2 choices as often as possible helps to resolve and prevent problems without creating strife between child and parent.
Offer two acceptable choices, for example: “Do you want to go to the beach or to the park today?” “Do you want eggs or porridge for breakfast?”
This shows respect to the child because you asked for his opinion.
2 choices also has the huge advantage of teaching reflection. The child has to consider before he answers. Starting this early helps children to be able to make bigger choices in the future. In situation when there is no possibility for choice, you must be firm and honest. Set the clear limit and enforce it consistently in a loving and respectful manner.
Example Preschool Environment: Guidepost Montessori
Montessori Preschool Class is a 2 hour weekly class for children 3-6 years old to attend with one parent or caregiver allowing you and your child to learn together and bring the Montessori approach home with you!
The class is based on Dr. Montessori’s Casa Dei Bambini, a primary school which allows young children to fulfil their whole learning potential at this critical age through child-led exploration and a prepared environment.
Our materials allow children to learn writing, reading, math, geography, practical life skills like sewing, cooking, woodworking, and so much more! In every class the children will amaze you at what they are capable of when every opportunity is provided for them. To get a picture of our materials and how the children learn through hands-on experience, see the individual areas of our expanding classroom below!
Our current collection of materials represents an introductory class environment for children 3-4 year old. As these children grow, along with our school, we are increasing our collection. We intend to open the doors to our complete 3-6 classroom in March 2023!
Our teachers are AMI-certified Montessori guides with years of experience and a profound love for each and every student. You can meet our team here!
Currently we offer classes ever Monday from 15:00-17:00 and from March 2023 we plan to offer these classes every day! You can join the waiting list and receive updates by filling out this application form!
To learn more about the Montessori Mother Preschool Expansion and get involved you can find full expansion plan HERE!
Sensorial Materials
The Montessori Sensorial materials have been time-tested for over 100 years! They are one of the pillars of the Montessori approach, enabling children to refine all 10 of their senses.
Example:
While the child stacks the 10 blocks to build the timeless Pink Tower, he trains his motor control, his visual precision, and is introduced to the metric rule of 10. The blocks are then used as measuring tools and visual aids for the proceeding materials.
Here is one of our lovely shelves dedicated to sensorial materials.
Writing and Reading
Although in traditional schools children learn to read and write from 6 or 7, we find that the best time for children to teach themselves how to first, write and then, to read, is closer to 3 and 4 years old! From the first sandpaper letters to the grammar analysis materials our students are reading books by 6 years old and they LOVE it.
Example:
A 3.5 year old child starts with a puzzle then uses our wooden letters to match the starting sounds of the words to their letter Peach, Cherry, Watermelon…. Then crafts those letters out of clay or writes them with a water paintbrush onto a chalkboard. A passion for calligraphy and the intrigue of sounds and their symbols continues and grows until the child can write their own name cards to match to their pictures.
Here is one of our shelves dedicated to writing materials where you can see our tracing letters, wooden moveable alphabet (on top) and all of our writing materials. The bottom shelf holds more sensorial materials for refining the tactile and visual senses.
Math
There are SIX groups of math materials in the 3-6 classroom: numbers 1-10, decimals, counting, abstraction, memorisation, and fractions. Starting with understanding quantity and the number symbols, by the end of their time in the Montessori Preschool Classroom, children have learned to divide numbers by the thousands!
Photo: our shelf dedicated to the introduction to numbers 1-10. As you can see this is just the start of our mathematics area because it is one of the largest and most expensive parts of the primary classroom. Our focus currently is teaching all the students to recognise the numbers and have a strong understanding in concepts of quantity, adding, and subtracting numbers from 0-10.
Geography and Biology
This is one of my favourite areas of the preschool classroom as our international community includes families from every continent. Children not only learn the countries, continents, landforms, and bodies of water, they learn about the cultures, animals, plants, foods, et cetera which come from each place.
Example: A three year old child chooses a country from map puzzle and finds it on the globe. Then they find the flag of that country, the corresponding animal replica, name card, landmark replica, and photo of a view of that country. Although they might not have been there, they build a knowledge of that place and a respect for its culture, widening their world view with every minute spend working in this area of their classroom.
We currently have the first globes, maps, and early puzzles in rotation on our shelf, but this is an area I plan to expand on significantly in our classroom and include a geometry cabinet of all kinds of objects and photo cards to be sorted and grouped with the continents, countries, and ocean puzzles.
Practical Life Skills
Practical life is the link to the classroom for toddlers entering the preschool environment. At three years old the children are already familiar with cleaning, cooking, and self care, and this area includes all their favorite materials with an elevated level of challenge. New materials include ironing, polishing silver, sewing, woodworking, tending the garden, grinding spices and making tea, and so many other beautiful activities which allow the child to learn lifelong skills.
For example: The child knows how to thread beads using a needle – now those skills are elevated to embroidery and perhaps the child will use them to sew a purse or pillow or weave a cloth on the loom.
The practical life area in our classroom extends throughout our entire school as the children have their own complete kitchen, washroom, woodworking bench, herb garden, cleaning area, self care area, various washing stations, and of course, this shelf of lovely materials. Children can use their materials to polish, sew, wash, grind, grate, braid, screw, spray, and explore their curiosity whenever they want. That’s why this shelf is found right in the middle of the room.
Art and Music
Our art shelf continues to offer interesting opportunities for children to develop their creativity. We also have a music shelf complete with various instruments. In the future we plan a large expansion of our music area to include materials for learning notation (how to read music) and discern the notes on the scale using their auditory sense.
Food Preparation
Every class children enjoy a meal which they help prepare together. Children can also prepare a snack for themselves or use materials to make clay or pasta. The table is beautifully set by the children with flowers they arrange themselves and the napkins they have ironed and folded. This is perhaps the greatest visual of their great capacity for independence and mutual consideration.
Our classes are fully equipped in this area already and in the future we plan to set up a full child-sized kitchen complete with countertops, a mini stove and refrigerator. 🙂
Grace and Courtesy
Grace and courtesy is a fundamental concept of Montessori, which is an education for world peace. The activities promote self awareness and social awareness through control of movements and exercises of sound and silence. The two most well known are the ceremony of passing the bell (without making it ring) and walking the line (without faltering).
Here is the line we’ve set up on our carpet which is home to all of our hellos, goodbyes, and exercises of grace and courtesy.
& more!
In addition to all the wonderful areas of our classroom above, we also plan to have the following in our new expanding Montessori environment:
outdoor garden to teach horticulture and give a farm-to-table experience
climbing wall for gross motor coordination and spacial awareness
water lab for fun and experimentation with volume, pumps, and gravity
The Montessori Movie
Would you like to see a Montessori Preschool in action? This documentary follows a Montessori 3-6 classroom in France for one year and it is truly moving to see what children achieve after just a short time in this beautiful school.
In this blogpost I will be answering these frequently asked questions anonymously and I will give advice based on Montessori theory. This doesn’t mean that it’s the perfect solution for you, every family and every child is unique, but I will do my best to give helpful suggestions and if those suggestions feel right for you, then try them out.
Listen to the podcast:
Sleep is such a personal topic . It is a skill that all children have to learn. The relationship your child has with sleep affects the whole family’s mental and physical health so making changes regarding their sleep situation should involve the whole family. Communicate with each other so that everyone is on the same page and whatever you decide to do is the right solution for everyone, parents and children.
Question 1
My baby is 5 months old. She only falls asleep when I am cuddling with her, not my partner, just me. If I am not there she will cry 95% of the time. What should we do to help her find sleep by herself or with my partner?
Children can easily get used to one thing that they need to go to sleep. This can be cuddling with a specific parent, like in the example above, it can also be a pacifier, a lovey, milk… It doesn’t mean that they can’t find rest another way, they just have to re-learn how to sleep without that attachment. Believe in your child that they can do it.
Their whole life they have slept one way, so changing that understanding will take some time. On top of that, they have to process this new information when they are tired and probably when the parent is tired also which makes it even more challenging. Communication, patience, and complete calm are so important in this process.
Make a change that your family has decided on, go to bed early so they haven’t passed exhaustion, and stick to your plan so it doesn’t send mixed/negative messages. You can do this!
You can make a plan to take it slow. For example, start with day sleeping, then move to night sleeping. Instead of getting in the bed, sit next to it and offer comfort and closeness this way. Let the child feel all of their feelings about this process without judgement. If there are tears, let them be expressed and show compassion. This is your child’s way of saying “I am tired and I am having a hard time.”
Question 2
How should I set up a Montessori sleeping area?
In Montessori we use a low bed or a floor bed which is a mattress on the floor, on a carpet, or on a base which is only slightly higher than the floor. Eventually baby moves to this bed as they transition to independent sleeping.
The sleep area is should be in the darkest, quietest part of the room.
Make the space functional and inviting.
You can keep some books nearby in a basket or on a shelf for reading before bed. There shouldn’t be any noisy or highly stimulating toys in the sleeping area – this is a place of quiet where the child knows they can go if they need to find rest.
A Montessori Cestina (sleeping basket) for babies from birth to rolling
Question 3
How and when should we transition from crib sleeping to toddler bed sleeping?
Make this transition when you feel your child is ready and when you are ready to commit to the transition which can take some time.
When the child is walking they should be able to get in and out of bed independently.
Step-by-step: Remove the crib and introduce the bed in the same day. You can invite your child to help you or they can observe what you are doing passively.
Talk about how “Your ‘new bed’ is in this box. We are going to open it and put it in your room so you can sleep there.”
Say “Goodbye!” to the crib with your child so they have the memory of it being gone.
Put the new bed exactly where the crib was before if you can.
On the first few nights, go to bed a little bit earlier and prepare yourself (what you are going to say + your positive attitude) for coming into the room several times before they fall asleep. You will have to remind them that it’s time to rest, go back to bed, and tuck in every time in the exact same way. 🙂
Keep a neutral attitude of calm and acceptance. It’s just a new bed, not an overly exciting or a bad thing. This will also help your little one accept it.
Question 4
How and when should we transition from co-sleeping to independent sleeping alone?
If this is what your family has decided is best for you, you can make this transition when you are ready to commit to it. It can take some time and no matter when you decide to do this, it will be a learning process for your little one. If your family is happy with co-sleeping and it works for you, then you should continue it! There is no 1 right way to sleep.
Explanation: Co-sleeping is family sleeping, so often it’s difficult for the child to learn how to fall asleep when the family is not right by them and that they have their own bed now where they sleep alone.
The first step is to get them their own bed, talk about it, show where they can put their head… “This is your own bed. When you are tired, you can come here and rest.”
Don’t get into the bed yourself, because it is a place where only your child sleeps.
Start with day sleeping, sitting near the bed if they want closeness. Gradually give more and more space until they are sleeping there fairly comfortably. Use a specific routine before they get into bed to sleep. (For example, lunch, brush teeth, change clothes, read books, sing a special song, give a kiss, then it’s quiet time.)
Begin changing the night sleeping by giving information and going to bed early. “Tonight you will sleep in your bed and we will sleep in our bed.” Use the exact same routine as you do before a nap.
If they are upset, be their calm and give them the words to explain how they are feeling. “You feel tired right now and it’s hard to get to sleep. I am here for you.”
Question 5
My baby is 13 months old and he wakes up every 2-3 hours. We are a co-sleeping family. How can we help him to have a more normal sleeping pattern? It feels like everything is on pause until we can sleep through the night.
The sleep cycles of a child this age should be longer than this so it’s a sign that they are waking up for a reason.
There are many reasons why toddlers could wake up in the night:
digestion – their tummy is upset or they have food in their stomach so their rest is not quality
they are waking for a bottle (they don’t need to eat at night any more at this point, so slowly give less watered down milk until they no longer feel hungry at night.)
they sleep with a pacifier or lovey and it’s fallen out triggering their wake-up response
they are feeling discomfort – teething, sickness, overheated, uncomfortable
they have had a bad dream
they have woken themselves up with their own movements or by the sleep noises and movements of the other people in the bed (If this is the case, perhaps they need their own sleeping space away from the noise and movements of others – which is OK if that’s what they need. There are no rules on where or how to sleep.)
I recommend saying ‘goodbye’ to sleep props/associations
Communication: Encourage independence by teaching her how to find rest without waking you up. Teach her what you do when you wake up in the night. – keep a waterbottle nearby the bed – teach her how to flip her pillow over – take off socks – roll over…
About using a pacifier or other sleeping props:
Say ‘goodbye’ in a respectful way. It’s a real and strong attachment your child has, so treat it with love.
After 3 difficult nights, it’s usually over with.
If they use the pacifier other than at night, start by using it not using it during the day, then for night sleep, and finally for day sleep.
You can also say goodbye to the pacifier all together at once!
Question 6
My baby is 17 months old. She sleeps alone in her bedroom but the bedroom door is closed so she has to cry to call one of us when she wakes up. How can we give freedom without creating a bad habit of leaving the room during rest time? At night, would it help if we open his door before we go to bed, so he can go out and find us when we wakes up? How about at nap time?
This is a good idea to open the door when it’s time to wake up and let them come out when they are ready.
You can also try leaving the door cracked after you say ‘goodnight’ and if they get up, remind them to it’s time for sleep and going back to bed. See question #3
Perhaps you can add a long extension to the door knob so they can open it alone.
Question 7
My son sometimes sleeps either naked or topless when he refuses to put his pyjamas on. I don’t force him to put on his pyjamas if he resists. Should I insist on this as part of the routine? Are there unintended consequences of me agreeing to let him sleep without pyjamas on?
This depends on you. If it’s okay for you, then yes. If it’s a limit for you, then no. Always sleep with some protection like a diaper or training pants. In the summer it’s hot and lots of people don’t wear pyjamas.
Personally, I think it’s fine – It’s the child’s choice. Offer them to put on pyjamas and let them decide if they want or not.
Question 8
My toddler wakes up at 5:30am. Why is he waking up crying? Why so early? How to help him understand that morning starts at 7.30 and 5.30 is still night? How can we help him to wake up happy saying hello?
6am is a pretty normal time to wake up in the morning for toddlers. Their best sleep usually takes place between 8pm and 6am.
See question #5 for reasons why your toddler might be waking up.
Waking up early could also be part of your child’s bodily rhythm. If possible, prepare the environment so when he wakes up he can prepare himself a snack when he wakes up or play independently. If the environment is safe, it’s okay to say, “I still need to rest. You can relax here with me or you can go prepare some fruit.”
If possible, change your routine to go to sleep earlier and his routine to go to sleep later so you can wake up at the same time.
Why does my baby wake up every hour screaming? It’s as if he is afraid of being alone even though he is in a familiar and safe environment and has never had any traumatic experiences around sleep.
When a toddler passes out from exhaustion, this sleep will be more restless and involve more wake-ups at night.
Waking up suddenly and crying is a natural response which comes from an instinct to react to threats of danger or being alone. The fear of being alone is a natural fear in all children . It isn’t only a sign of trauma.
Communication before bed “I will be in my bed and come say good morning to you. “ “You woke up and felt worried. I am here for you. Spend time in the bedroom for a while before and after sleep so the room is not only a place of aloneness.
Always be calm and understanding, translate her emotions, meet her where she’s at, let the fear pass for her and keep going with the day.
The child’s emotions are very powerful in the moment, and when the moment has passed the emotion will have passed. Take a step back to observe how they are feeling, help them work through their emotions, and be their calm.
Question 10
We have a night routine and my toddler knows it very well. However, every night is a fight. He’s exhausted because he only sleeps 30 minutes to 1 hour during the day. He wakes every 2-3 hours crying or calls me for cuddles. How can I help him find rest? He is too stressed and so I am.
It sounds like in this situation it becomes very had to manage because both child and parent are exhausted.
Try to go to bed before reaching the point of exhaustion. Try to help them not get overstimulated during the day, which will help him relax at the end of the day.
Crying is a natural form of expression and we can respond to it with
Make sure that all of his sleeping situations are consistent so he can make the associations with where and how to find rest.
If the tantrum every gets to much for you to handle, leave the room for a few minutes. Calm down, listen to a song or drink a cup of tea. Come back and explain “I was feeling overwhelmed and I needed to have a calm moment. I feel better and I am here for you now.”
Crying is a normal and healthy form of emotional expression. Be there for your toddler as they release all their emotions. If they push you away, give them space and let them know that you are nearby if they need you.
Every time he wakes up you don’t need to run in straight away. Try to understand the cries and see if he needs something or is afraid. If he’s just woken up and is not really upset, give him a couple of minutes to see if he can get back to sleep by himself. If not, observe how he is feeling + if he needs anything, help him work through his emotions, and be his calm.
Question 11
How will my child manage to sleep with a caretaker (kita, tagesmutter, babysitter)? What can I do to help?
Make sure that both you and your child trust the other carer completely before they start putting them to sleep. If you feel comfortable with the way they are going to put them to sleep, it will help your child to feel secure. You can help them to have success by giving information about your child’s sleep routine. Hopefully in day care they will not insist that the child has to fall asleep at first, but offer quiet rest time.
Sleeping in this new way will become part of their normal daily group routine. Believe in your little one and trust that they can do it.
Conclusion
At this age babies and toddlers are still not usually sleeping the same way that adults do. We would love for them to, but physically many are still developing the ability to sleep through the night. Sometimes they need help to learn how to get to sleep and how to get back to sleep when they wake up. The key is communicating with your partner, making a plan, and being consistent with your plan. Change, especially around sleep is difficult because the child is having to learn and process information while they are already tired. At first it will be hard but it will get better and you will be able to sleep through the night, at least hopefully, 80 percent of the time. 🙂
All of your had work will pay off and your child will learn how to relax and sleep when they are tired, a skill which will help them their entire life.
Thank you for reading! I hope that you found this interesting and helpful. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.
What are the reasons for using Montessori education at home?
1.Our absolute main goal is to support the child’s mental and physical development. First we are aware of what the child’s needs are, and then we prepare the space for them, so that they can follow their natural path of development with everything in their environment is available to them to use to meet each developmental need.
2. Understanding the child also makes parenting them more peaceful and more joyous because it takes away our struggles and frustration of every-day tasks like getting dressed, going off to sleep, etc
3. At home, you are often able to allow your child to have more control over their learning than they have at school. When children have more control over their learning, they are able to face challenges, grow their creativity, and become more resilient. They have to be self-aware, resourceful, and confident in their capabilities in order to solve their own problems.
4. Finally, Montessori is an education for life and gives children a love for learning so that they can succeed in every other area of their life.
When we talk about the home environment from 0-3, we are looking at 4 general zones of the child’s space. They are the sleep, care, food, and movement areas. In this blogpost, we are going to focus mostly on the movement area because that’s usually what people think about when we talk about Montessori and the other areas can be different for every family.
The interpreter is to the child a great hope, someone who will open to him the path of discovery when the world had already closed its doors. This helper is taken into the closest relationship, a relationship that is more than affection because help is given, not merely consolation.”
Maria Montessori. The Absorbent Mind. 1949
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Understanding their position
Compare yourself to living in a country where you do not speak the language. Many of us can relate to the frustrations the child could feel when…
things happen to them which are not explained
instructions are given hurriedly without being shown
being treated by speaking people as if disabled because you cannot speak the language
wanting to say something important but you don’t have the words
Understanding their reactions
In these situations I may not have much self-control; I may become agitated, enraged, and begin to cry. That is what happens the child of one or two years old who has tantrums. They are intelligent and know people could understand their ideas, but cannot express them through lack of language. This is a dramatic epoch in the life of the child. (Maria Montessori, The Absorbent Mind)
Do not misinterpret the child expressing their frustration as deviant behaviour. They are facing a great struggle and feel comfortable enough with you to let you know how they feel and ask you for your help to calm down. Imagine how misunderstood they must feel!
One word sentences
Around 1.5 years old, toddlers realise that every object has a name. They use one noun to express a whole idea. Let’s call this form of self-expression one word sentences. These words are also often abbreviated or altered. When we respond to these sentences’ translations, we give the child reassurance that they are being understood and we bring them calm.
Maria Montessori spoke extensively on the great potential of the child. She explains the amazing ability children have to absorb everything they experience in the first years of their life. She also wrote about the Sensitive Periods they go through, which highlight each child’s perfect moment for mastering a skill- from great feats like walking and speaking to achievements in independence such as potty learning or self-dressing.
The chart I have made follows the sensitive periods for movement and language from birth to 18 months old. It is a month-by-month guide, sharing some of the things children do during these months and a few Montessori activities which are appropriate during each stage of development.
However it is important to remember that every child has their own perfect timing to learn to turn, crawl, walk, and talk. As always in Montessori, our purpose is to follow the child.
When we are aware of all the things our little ones can do, it makes it possible for us to truly trust them and give them the space they need to grow and the opportunities they need to apply their full potential.
So what can we do to help our babies?
We know that Babies and Toddlers are happiest when they have a stimulating environment that challenges them, but doesn’t overwhelm them, which offers understanding, and allows them to have success and also feel joy from their accomplishments.
1. We can offer a safe space for them to learn and discover.
newborn movement area at home
~ for newborns and small babies we set up a movement mat on the floor and a low mirror which allow them to see and feel their unrestricted movements, clearly.
~ when they start crawling and walking we clear the floor for them so they have enough space to move around. If possible we prepare a whole room or part of a room which is completely safe to let them explore freely.
The key to this is trusting your child and also trusting that the space you have prepared for them is truly, completely safe.
2. We can provide activities that help Baby learn and perfect new skills.
advanced rings of graduating size on a stable base (2 years old)
I will give one example for the newborn, baby, and toddler stages:
~ newborns train their eyesight with Montessori visual mobiles At birth babies can only see high contrast and they can’t change their focus. Mobiles like the Munari , which are black and white and move naturally with the air in the room, are slow enough for them to follow and see clearly.
~ A couple of months later babies are improving their grasp and release with ring on dowel activities of increasing difficulty. They start with one large ring on a stable base around 6 months old and eventually work up to several small rings of graduating size in a basket next to a stable or rocking base around 14 months old.
~ and walking toddlers grow their independence through practical activities like washing hands and slicing bananas. They are very interested in taking care of themselves and taking care of their environment so we set up activities for dressing for self feeding, food preparation, cleaning, caring for plants, and lots of other exciting opportunities so that they can have success in these daily tasks which are so fascinating for them.
3. We can remove any obstacles which might be holding Baby back from taking steps in their development.
The most common obstacles I have found in my work with children are clothing, interruptions, and safety.
~ I mean so say clothing that is too loose or too tight is a common obstacle that’s very easy to remove – literally. When a baby is learning to crawl, they really need to have their forearms and legs open to make contact with the floor and move forward or backward successfully. When they are learning to walk long pants can actually trip them or socks can be slippery and cause them to fall down which is not very encouraging to a child who is trying to learn to move.
~ interruptions like distracting sounds or movements prevent many babies from being able to enter a concentrated state of learning and repetition. Some children are more distractible than others so it’s important to be mindful of this.
~ Safety is the biggest obstacle babies face in their development because if we, the adult, see a potential danger we are likely to stop them from touching that thing instead of finding a more appropriate place for them to explore it.
In Montessori we see any state of repetition as a sign that the child has a developmental need which MUST be perfected. So if you notice your baby doing something over and over again, we HAVE to allow them that privilege, but in an appropriate place.
Thank you for reading! I hope that you found this discussion to be useful, whether you’re a parent or a teacher and that we can be reminded to trust in the amazing potential the child has and let them use their Absorbent Minds from the very, very beginning.
